What Are The Odds
by Pennpayper
Summary: A behind the scenes look at Gail and Holly's relationship. What happened that wasn't shown on camera.
1. Chapter 1

Holly wanted stir fry. Gail wanted tacos. The two were at an impasse, and they both knew it. They were not sure how to get passed it.

It was the women's first night hanging out together since they first met at a crime scene last week. As Gail told it, Holly had sauntered in on her crime scene and cockily disrupted the peace Gail had worked so hard to maintain. Of course Holly saw it different. She had calmly made it to the scene after being called in about a dead body, only to be confronted by Officer Peck, called lunchbox, and told she talked too much. Yep. Holly thought. Love at first sight.

The last bit of information Holly kept to herself when joking about it with Gail. It was not like it was true, she reminded herself. She was not in love. It was a joke. Still, Holly thought, she did not want to push it. Gail seemed one hundred percent nonchalant about her being a lesbian, but she did not want the blonde to get a straight girl complex. Holly would be mortified if Gail thought she was only hanging out with her because Holly secretly wanted her.

Holly paused in her thoughts. Who was she kidding? In the two weeks she had known Gail she was sure of one thing. Gail had absolute confidence in her appeal. She would probably be appalled if Holly did not want to have sex with her. Not that she did, Holly reminded herself.

Much of tonight's first non-date had flew by as the women sat at the Penny drinking, talking, and laughing about every subject they could think of. Then Holly had gotten hungry.

To be fair, Gail wanted something to eat as well. But that could be said at any point and time when it came to Gail. Deciding on when to eat was not the problem. The disagreement came when they discussed what should be for dinner.

"Come on, Gail," Holly sighed as the two women stared each other down. "Stir fry is a more than acceptable compromise." This after Holly had shot down Gail's first three suggestions, all food of the fried variety. At the same time, Gail had scoffed at all of Holly's suggestions. She called them too green. Who in the hell would want a kale anything, let along a kale burger? Gail doubted even those souls damned to hell would want a kale burger.

"Stir fry as a compromise? Maybe. But not from the kind of place you want to go to." Gail frowned. She leaned into the bar, resting her elbows on it and her face on the palms of her hands. Holly thought her newest friend looked like a grown woman on the verge of a temper tantrum. Oddly, she found it charming. So much so that she wanted to smile. She was thrown a little by her reaction and held it back.

"Let's get this straight, Holly. I will never ever set foot in a vegan restaurant. I will never order anything vegan. Meat is my friend. Their byproducts are really good acquaintances of mine."

Holly rolled her eyes and chuckled. Should she be having this much fun with an argument? She usually did not have this much fun.

"I'm not going to Taco Bell, Gail." Holly stated emphatically.

"Why not?" Gail really seemed to not grasp the reason Holly would not want to dine at the fast food restaurant. Holly did not know if she should feel bad for her friend or for her friend's small intestines.

"I like my food fresh."

"They have salads!" Gail argued. Holly sighed.

"Just because they use the term salad for their taco in a bowl does not make it so."

"It has lettuce." Gail countered.

"The bowl is a taco shell. You should not be able to fry and eat your bowl."

"What about bread bowls?" Gail asked with a grin.

Holly laughed out loud, unable to hold it in. Gail's eyes lit up, clearly thinking she made a valid point. And while Holly agreed she did, she was still standing firm. She tilted her head, giving Gail a look that meant only one thing. No Taco Bell.

After several minutes of silence, Gail sighed. She was giving up. Her lips pursed in a sulky expression. Holly could not help herself. Her eyes fell on them. She made sure her eyes were only on them for a moment. But in that small time, the thoughts that crossed her mind turned her cheeks pink with heat.

Holly had wondered about the softness of Gail's lips. And if the lip gloss on them made them smooth to the touch. She wondered how the would react to the caress of her finger. Would they open as if inviting her in for a taste.

Holly looked away and tried to refocus her thoughts. The last thing she wanted was to lust after a woman who could very easily become a close friend. Oh, but she wouldn't mind getting closer to Gail.

Holly shook her head and grabbed for her purse. She silently ordered her thoughts away.

"Holly, I don't want grass for dinner." Gail muttered. Holly almost felt bad for her, but not enough to eat Taco Bell for her. No one was worth that agony.

"I see only one way out of this." Holly said as she started digging through her belongings.

"If you are looking for a shiv Holly, I warn you. That won't end well." Holly ignored her. She smiled as her fingers grasped what she was looking for. She pulled out of a purse one shiny quarter, holding it up so Gail could see it clearly. Like a trophy, she was extremely proud of her find.

"Uhh Holly." Gail stuttered as she eyed the silver coin. "Unless you are planning to buy cheese puffs, I don't see how a quarter helps."

"Heads or tails?" Holly asked with a twinkle in her eye. Gail gawked at the coin, then at her.

"Really?" Holly nodded and smiled. Gail shrugged.

"Tails. But first let me see the coin."

"You don't trust me?" Gail rolled her eyes.

"Not when there is green food at stake."

She took the coin from Holly. After it had been thoroughly inspected, Holly flipped. It landed on heads. Holly cheered as if she had won a football game. Gail pouted as if she had lost her best toy. Holly saw the disappointment and disgust on her friend's face and gave in, but only a little.

"Don't worry, Gail. You don't have to step into the restaurant or order." She said grabbing the pouting woman's arm and pulling her out the bar. "You just have to eat."

"Great," Gail groaned.

"And we will stop somewhere to get you a grill chicken breast."

Gail's face lit up with a smile.

"KFC?"

"No."

Gail shrugged. She gave it a try. As the two walked out of the bar, Holly's hand held tightly to the coin she was holding. She was not a betting woman, but if she was she would bet that her friendship with Gail would be one of those rare ones that could last the rest of her life. That is if the odds were in her favor.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Holly was laying in her bed after another night out with Gail. She should have been sleeping, but her mind was too busy to rest. Holly could not stop thinking about the blonde officer. Thinking of Gail usually made Holly smile. But tonight, every time Gail crossed her mind, Holly felt dread.

Tonight, while lying in bed, Holly stopped lying to herself and admitted that she was drawn to Gail. How else could she explain her own actions? Since meeting her, Holly had blown off three engagements with other friends simply because Gail had called or texted her. Talking to Gail physically made her feel more energized and emotionally stimulated her. It made no sense. Holly had never met a person who caused such a reaction.

Yesterday, her other friends had called her out on it, joking Holly was ditching them for a new playmate. It wasn't true, Holly rationalized. She loved her friends. She also really enjoyed spending time with Gail. She just did not want to limit the time they spent together.

How often does someone come across another person like Gail Peck in their life? The woman was supermodel gorgeous and extremely smart, full of wit with a biting charm. Beautiful people usually lost their shine after a few conversations. But Holly was several weeks and a lot more conversations in, and Gail was still as golden bright as their first day together.

Maybe Holly was drawn to the mystery of Gail. She was such a conundrum. She was a walking puzzle of contradictions. Gail was known for her surliness, but Holly had seen her be kind and patient with those in the position to serve, whether they were a doorman, a waiter, or a store clerk. She did not lose her cool even when she was caught up in their mistake.

Gail also seemed as impatient and needy as a five year old. But Holly had twice come outside of the morgue to find her standing there waiting but also assisting a passerby. First, Holly had surmised it was the uniform that drew strangers needing assistance to the officer. That was before she had witnessed a plain-clothed Gail carrying an elderly man's bag while helping him cross the street. Holly smiled. Chivalry was not dead. It only came in different packaging for the modern times.

Holly knew she was quickly becoming that girl, the one who gets so wrapped up in the new person in their lives that her life seems to merge around them. Holly hated the idea but she could not stop herself. Gail made her happy. One should pursue happiness, right?

Holly groaned as she flipped over in bed. She pressed her face into her pillow. She was not pursuing Gail. Hell, she was not sure if Gail even wanted to talk to her anymore. And there was the crux of her problem, why she could not sleep. Tonight Holly had made a serious move, and she feared she had jeopardized their friendship.

Holly recalled the events of this evening. It started out simple enough. Gail had called Holly and asked her to be her plus one for her coworker's wedding. Holly hated functions where virtually everyone would be a stranger. But Gail sounded desperate, and Holly was her friend. So she went and surprisingly had enjoyed herself at Gail's side. Maybe it was not surprising since she always enjoyed herself with Gail.

Still the rich food, the good wine and the great company had gotten a bit to her head. Before she knew it she was kissing Gail in the coat room. It was a small kiss, barely more than a brushing of the lips, but it still had significance.

She could tell Gail had been flummoxed by her actions. That was part of the reason Holly had did it. She wanted to stop Gail from asking any more silly questions about lesbian couples. Her curiosity had been killing Holly. Each question out of those beautiful pair of lips left Holly imagining how Gail would be in a relationship, which in turn caused a longing in the doctor.

On a whim, she kissed Gail. Holly moaned in misery. What had she been thinking?! Would Gail now run because of her actions? She was that freaking cat that hated trees. Would Holly now be a tree she needed to escape from? Had she lost the most interesting woman she had met in a long time because of her boldness?

Holly flipped over again, ramming the back of her head into her pillow. Whatever happened, Holly knew one thing for sure. She would need a new pillow.

Her bravado tonight had done her one favor though. She now knew the answers to her questions about Gail's lips. Just as Holly had assumed, they were perfect. They were soft, warm and silky smooth. Gail's lips were more welcoming than any messaged mat laid in front of someone's front step. The tingle from the kiss had lingered on Holly's lips hours after she had quickly left the celebration. So had her regret.

Holly was freed from her thoughts by her ringing doorbell. She looked at the lit 2:15 on the clock besides her bed and frowned. She listened for the second ring, but it did not come. Maybe she had dreamed it? But she was wide awake.

Holly sighed as she slid out of bed. In her tank top and boy shorts, she really was not dressed for company. Still she thought she knew who was at the door, and that hope pushed her to the exit. She grabbed her glasses and her robe to cover herself then headed downstairs.

Holly made it to the door in short time. She made sure her robe was securely around her before checking through the peep hole. She saw nothing. She opened it to find a retreating figure silently walking along the sidewalk. Squinting her eyes, she identified the oh so yummy figure hugging her jacket to her as she walked. The hope inside Holly blossomed despite seeing that the figure was walking away.

"Gail?" She called out, and saw the figure freeze. The darkened person did not move for a moment, as if weighing her options. Finally she made a decision and headed back to Holly's front door.

Holly could tell Gail was questioning herself by the unsteady beat of her steps. Silently Holly berated herself again for her actions earlier that night. She was sure that small kiss had changed everything. But her friend was there. She did not run. Holly let the knowledge comfort her as Gail came into view.

When Holly finally could see her friend's face, the expression looked pensive. Holly leaned against the doorway as Gail offered an awkward smile.

"Were you asleep?"

It was two in the morning. A sane person would have said yes. A sane person would have actually been sleep, conjuring dreams that would drift away with the light of day. But no, Holly had been awake. Maybe she and Gail were insane. On the bright side, they could be crazy together.

Holly shook her head and let Gail into her home. Gail made a beeline for the living room, throwing herself on Holly's couch. As Holly turned on the television and switched it to some random channel, Gail's eyes focused on the unknown movie it played.

Holly sat next to Gail and waited. She knew what conversation was coming. And she dreaded it. How could she explain everything going on inside her when she didn't fully understand it herself. But she could try. For Gail... To keep Gail in her life she would try.

Holly waited. But Gail's eyes stayed focused on the television set. Finally Holly had waited long enough.

"Gail, we need to talk." Holly spoke clearly, her voice ringing in the room.

"Holly, we don't." Gail stayed focus on the movie, which Holly now identified as "Airplane!".

"Let me explain."

"Let's not."

"Gail..." Holly started, but she was interrupted by Gail's groan as she sat up from the couch.

"Where's the coin? We need a coin."

Holly frowned, confused by the question. Gail looked at her expectantly and asked again.

"A coin, Holly? I don't have one or I would use it."

It took Holly another second before she understood Gail's request. They had used a coin flip before to end discussions over menial issues like what to eat or who will drive. But they had never used it to stop a discussion before it began or for such a serious matter. Gail was creating precedent, and Holly was not sure how she felt about it.

She looked into the blonde's blue eyes, ready to stand her ground and force a conversation. But she read the trepidation hiding inside those baby blues. She shook her head but gave into the frustrating woman. Going into the kitchen, she quickly returned holding a quarter in her hand.

Gail immediately said, "Heads."

"Gail, I always say heads," Holly pouted.

"And three times you have won. So heads."

Holly rolled her eyes at Gail's assumption about how the game of chance worked. She showed Gail the coin, placing the heads upside. She flipped the coin. It hit the ground and landed on heads. Gail laid back against the couch with a look of relief on her face.

Holly was relieved as well. No talk meant no change in their status quo. It meant she got to keep her friend. Just as she had always had her. And that was what Holly wanted. Holly put the coin down on the coffee table. Neither woman said a word.

As the sounds of the movie filled the room, Holly realized, while relieved, she was also a little sad. It's not like she wanted her relationship with Gail to change. She felt they were back on track. But she no longer was sure of their destination. It scared her. For the first time, her relationship with Gail felt like its own game of chance. And she did not know the odds. But she could not stop herself from playing.


	3. Chapter 3

A new night's sky greeted Holly this evening, but she paid it little attention. She was still trying to control the giggles slipping from her mouth.

"Oh, come on Holly." Gail muttered as she hid her reddening cheeks in the darkness of Holly's Audi. The two women were gathered around the vehicle after Gail had left the batting cages minutes. The officer, so use to surprising others with her skills, had walked away when her first attempt at batting ended with her bat in the air and the ball untouched.

Holly tried to comfort Gail's bruised ego through her laughter and get her to try again. But Gail adamantly refused. When all else failed, Holly turned to the ladies' tried and true source of all decision making, the coin toss. As she flipped the coin in the air, Gail sat inside of the car, refusing to watch it.

"What if I-"

"Nope." Holly interrupted Gail as she looked at the coin on the ground. She had heard several of Gail's excuses to try and get out of a second go already. She smiled at the unhappy woman inside of the car.

"Tails."

Gail groaned as she turned and eyed the outdoor baseball field.

"Best two out of three?" Gail asked Holly pleadingly. Holly chuckled, shaking her head.

"Move it or lose it."

"All right Sporty Spice," Gail groaned. She got out of the car and began her path back to the batting cages. Holly followed only a few steps behind.

"That reference is so timely, Gail. You really have your fingers on the pulse of our youth."

"Shut up nerd," Gail said trying to hold back her smile but failing miserably.

As they got closer to the batting cages, Holly saw the beautiful blonde in front of her begin to grumble to herself. Gail should rarely be alone with her thoughts after a disappointment. They tended to be detrimental for her. Holly caught up to her blonde buddy and wrapped her arm around Gail's, pulling the disgruntled cop to her. While Gail rolled her eyes like a petulant child, she did not pull away.

Gail's pouting should not amuse Holly so much, but Holly had come to accept there was pretty much nothing she did not enjoy about Gail. Holly just reminded herself to temper those feelings. She did not need her unwanted desires to cause another moment like the coat room kiss.

As sweet as the kiss was, Holly had once feared it pushed her friendship with Gail into an unfamiliar area. The fear grew when they decided not to talk about it. But their friendship fell back into its usual place. Holly guessed she had put more importance on the kiss than Gail. Gail seemed to not change at all from the incident. For her, it must have meant nothing.

Holly was relieved Gail did not pull away from her after the kiss. In the short span of time they had known each other, Gail had become important to Holly. And though Gail never said it, in the quiet moments when it was the two of them alone watching a movie or just hanging out, Holly would notice Gail peering out into space. Her eyes would darken with a sad look of loneliness. Then she would steal a glance at the forensic pathologist and a ghost of a smile would appear. Her tight features would lighten.

Holly did not know what Gail was thinking about in those moments. But it confirmed that this friendship was just as important to Gail. And Holly refused to let anything ruin it, including her own burgeoning feelings.

Gail froze at the entrance of the batting cages, her hands fidgeting at her side. Holly could tell she was not happy to be back there, but Holly could not leave their night as it was. Gail needed a win. And she was going to help her get one.

"Gail, you can do this."

"Did you not just see my last try?" Gail sighed. "I threw the bat, Holly. I told you. I don't do sports."

Holly ignored Gail and led her by her left elbow to the batter's box.

"What did you ask me when you called me tonight?"

"I don't remember. I think I said 'What are you doing.'"

"After that."

"I don't know Holly. Do you record our conversations and play them back or something?"

Holly smiled as she stood in front of the home plate.

"You asked me to save you."

"From the failure of my next date." Gail said in a huff. "If I wanted a new failure I could have called my mother."

"You are not going to fail." Holly made sure Gail could see the confidence in her eyes. "I won't let you. And neither will you."

"It's so great you have so much faith in me." The the sarcasm covered Gail's voice but did little to hide her apprehension.

"Don't worry, Gail. For once, we're playing on the same team." Holly smirked. Gail rolled her eyes, losing her apprehensive expression. Good, Holly thought. It was just what she wanted.

Holly grabbed a bat and a batting helmet leaning against the protective fence of the batting cages. She handed them to Gail and nudged her towards the plate. After a couple of grumbles, Gail put on the blue helmet and entered the batter's box. She appeared as lost as a child wondering the streets alone. Holly put on her own black helmet and stood behind her.

"You may not want to get so close, Holly." Gail warned. "You've seen how this thing flies."

Holly was not sure whether Gail was prepared for her guidance. She heard the blonde's sharp intake of breath as her hands slid onto the officers's hips from behind. The inhale was subtle, but Holly was tuned in to Gail at that moment. She could not have missed it or mistaken it. Exhaling slowly, Holly stepped closer to Gail's back.

"It's your stance. It's all over the place." Holly explained. She ordered herself to keep her touches as platonic as that of a doctor giving an exam. Still Gail's back stiffen as Holly shifted Gail's hips with pressure from the heels of her hands. She moved closer and heard Gail clear her throat.

"Gail, spread your legs."

"What?" Gail whispered, drawing the word out.

"Your feet are too close together. You need to widen your stance."

Gail nodded and shifted her feet a part. It was not enough. Holly sighed, hoping it would release some of her own pent up energy. She slid her left leg in between Gail's from behind. Her foot pushed Gail's feet into position. It also pressed her thigh against Gail's inner thigh, and her breasts into her back. Holly bit her lip to stop the small moan at the edge of her throat caused by the contact. She succeeded until Gail leaned back slightly, pressing into Holly even further. The small moan escaped. Holly tried to cover it with another sigh. Finally, Gail's feet were in place.

"Your feet should be wider than your shoulders." Holly heard the huskiness of her voice, and swallowed a bit of air to clear it up.

She saw Gail nod, the back of her head only inches from Holly's face. She inhaled the fresh scent of the officer. Gail must had taken a quick shower before meeting up with her. Holly could still smell the lingering scent of her soap. Or was it shower gel? As images of Gail in the shower filled in her mind, Holly shook them off. She removed her hands from Gail and stepped quickly away. She did not need those mental pictures haunting her at this moment.

Holly circled Gail, examining her stance. She was still unhappy. She dropped to her knees and took Gail's left foot in her hand. She pointed it outward before doing the same to the right foot.

"You don't want duck feet." Holly explained.

She stood slowly, taking inventory on how every point of Gail's body was positioned. She smiled to herself, satisfied. Gail was ready. She prepared to share the positive news with Gail, when her gaze connected with her dear friend and she froze. She could not identify the look darkening Gail's crystal blue eyes, sharping them so they stood out even more in the night. A part of her was not sure she wanted to identify it.

Gail also seemed frozen. She did not move a muscle, only stared at Holly. It felt like days passed before either woman move, although it could not have been any more than seconds. Gail was the first to look away, her eyes shifting away from Holly entirely.

Holly did not do the same. Her eyes uncontrollably fell onto Gail's lips, the memory of the small coat room kiss creeping in. It usually lingered in her mind in moments of solitude, making her long for the implacable dreams that sometimes left her wide awake at night. Holly could not say why the memory had chosen this moment to return.

As Gail turned back at Holly, Holly looked away. She pointed to the bat in Gail's hands.

"Show me how you will hit the ball." As Gail begin to move, Holly made a discouraging noise.

"Don't move your feet. Pretend you are a big leaguer. Babe Ruth. Jackie Robinson. But don't move your feet."

"Any alive ones?"

"None that you would know."

Gail sighed. She bent her knees slightly and brought the bat to her chest. Her hands tightly gripped the handle as she struck her poise. Holly stepped to the side with a smile on her face. Not bad.

"Gail, I am about to tell you everything you just did so right." Gail looked at Holly in surprise. Holly once again made a discouraging sound.

"Don't move." Gail went back to her first position. Holly exhaled.

"Gail, your knuckles are perfectly lined up. Your bat is at close to a beautiful 45-degree angle. Your hands are about shoulder width. And your elbows are slightly below your hands." Holly grinned like a proud mother. "In other words, you look beautiful."

"No duh, Holly. Can we hit a ball now?" Gail grimaced. Holly chuckled as she took a step behind the cage's protective fence.

"Just two things to remember. Don't forget to shift your weight on your back leg. Even if you if you have to sit on it or move your front leg to make it happen.

"Okay coach. And what else?"

"Keep the shaft close to you."

"That's what he said." Gail chuckled. Holly ignored her remark.

"Make sure the bat's handle is close to your back shoulder until you swing all of the way out. It's as if you are drawing a U. Ready?"

Gail inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. She nodded.

"As I'll ever be."

Holly waved her hand in the air, signally the man behind the proverbial curtain to push the button. The automatic pitching machine fired up. The ball flew towards Gail with seconds to spare. Gail gripped the bat, eyed the ball and swung with all her might. This time the bat stayed in her hand. But the ball still passed her by, clashing with the fence. She groaned.

"One more time." Holly encouraged, clapping her hands in approval. "Third times a charm."

"Third times a strike out." Gail argued.

"Relax, Gail." Holly waited until Gail's unsure eyes fell on her. She smiled reassuringly. "Just relax."

Gail, once again, inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. She nodded. She took up her stance, eying the machine tossing the balls. She waited. The machine fired up. The ball sped towards her, barely making a sound. Gail's gaze stayed focus on it. Her hands clenched the bat. The ball was a breath away from passing when Gail swung. Her bat connected, and the ball flew toward the lights of the field. Gail stared at it, astonished. She turned to Holly, still astonished. A huge grin took over Holly's face nearly splitting it in two.

"I hit it." Gail said, surprise coating each word.

"You definitely hit that." Holly rushed to her side.

Oh my god, Holly." Gail jumped in jubilation. "I hit it! I hit it!"

"Yes, you did." Holly laughed. Gail pulled Holly to her for a hug. The two continued to jump.

"I totally Ken Joyner Juniored that!" Gail yelled. Holly laughed harder.

"I'm going to pretend that's a person and say yes you did. Congratulations Gail."

Gail stopped jumping. The smile on her face transformed her entire expression. Holly had never seen such joy on display before. She was so thankful to be witnessing it now. Still smiling, Gail cupped Holly's face in the palm of her hands and smiled directly at her, as if her smile was only for her.

"Thank you Holly." Gail whispered warmly. Holly returned Gail's smile.

"Anytime Gail."

The two gazed at each other, allowing the warmth and affection they felt to show in their eyes. It took only seconds for the temperature of their looks to change. Feeling the shift, Holly stepped back and looked up at the stars.

"This calls for a celebration."

"Tacos?" Gail suggested enthusiastically. As expected, Holly shook her head .

"No tacos." She took off the black batting helmet and tossed it in the pile of equipment at the edge of the cage. Gail mimicked Holly's actions, also placing the bat near the pile.

"Holly, what do you have against Mexican cuisine?" The question was asked with a serious tone. But Gail could hear the underlying humor.

"You are right, Gail." Holly smirked as the two women walked towards the exit. "I'm sure Mexican influenced chefs embrace Taco Bell like barbecue enthusiasts embrace the McRib."

Gail inhaled sharply, "Is The McRib back?"

Holly shook her head as the ladies headed for their vehicle. Her arm once again found Gail's, and Gail once again did not pull away.

This had to be one of Holly's best non-dates ever. Heck, if she ever made a list she was sure Gail would easily take up spots in the top ten. Holly knew when she got home she would analyze every moment of tonight, questioning what everything meant. But at this point with this gleeful girl at her side, Holly put aside her scientist mind and embraced the moment. Because seriously, she asked herself smiling inwardly, how often does one get such a perfect night?


	4. Chapter 4

The perfect night was still on Holly's mind as she played cards with her two best friends. Lisa sat on the couch dealing the cards, while Rachel sat on the floor in control of the wine. The women had been friend for years, so they knew their roles well. They would take turns laying out their current problems, and over the course of several games and several bottles of wine they all would find some relief.

Only this night was working out differently. By the third game, the two ladies realized Holly was paying them no attention. The brunette doctor was lost in her own thoughts. Rachel sighed as she through down her cards in defeat.

"Let's hear it, Holly."

Holly snapped out of her inner turmoil at the sound of her name. Her friends waited with a look of patience mixed with frustration. This night was usually about the three of them. But they could tell by the trepidation in Holly's expression that she needed them more.

Holly tossed her cards on the coffee table and gave up the pretense. Lisa collected the cards. Rachel poured everyone more wine. And Holly poured her heart out.

"I am honestly at a loss here, guys." Holly hated the desperation in her voice but realized it was there for a reason. She really felt like she was at a crossroads with Gail. Boundaries were in place but like waves they seem to move with the passing of the sun. Something had to change.

"It's like everything in me is telling me to slow down and to jump. And I'm not ready to do either. But I'm also not ready to stop."

"Are we talking about Gail?" Rachel asked as she sipped her wine.

"Have we ever stopped talking about Gail?" Lisa added with a sarcastic sneer.

Holly ran her hair quickly through her hair, hoping the movement would ease some of her frustration. It just left her with a frizzy brown top.

"Maybe you can toss a coin to decide what to do." Lisa mocked. Holly had shared her and Gail's unique way of ending arguments with her friends. Rachel found it endearing. Lisa called it idiotic. Holly ignored Lisa.

"I don't understand how our friendship has—"

"Maybe it's because you're not friends." Lisa interrupted. Holly looked at the woman sitting besides her as if her words were absurd. To Holly they were. She could not describe where her relationship with Gail was headed. But she had no problem saying exactly where they stood today.

"We are friends." Lisa scoffed at Holly's declaration.

"From the moment you met her, you wanted her."

"That's true Holly." Rachel agreed with a nod and another sip of her wine.

"That's not true." Holly retorted. She looked at her friends and could see them silently calling her out on her bullshit. Holly slid back on the couch resting an arm on its shoulder and relented.

"Okay. Maybe it is. But she is gorgeous. It would go against my very nature to meet her and not be aware of her ethereal appearance."

"Maybe you should call Carol?" Rachel chimed in. The suggestion earned her a stern look from Holly.

"I don't want to call Carol."

"One date?" Rachel persisted.

"I am not interested."

"Then stop trying to friend-zone the woman you are interested in." Lisa advised, rolling her eyes.

"Why do you always see it that way?"

"It seems to me the problem is she is friend-zoning you." Rachel mumbled, taking another sip.

Holly groaned at her two friends. They could not be any less helpful tonight. Holly grabbed her own glass of wine, hoping it would help clear her mind.

"I love being friends with Gail."

"You are not friends." Lisa repeated. Holly slammed the glass down in frustration. Why could Lisa not see that was not what she needed here at this moment. Rachel petted Holly's knee, hoping to calm nerves on the edge of fraying.

"Let's look at this rationally."

"You quote her." Lisa stated as if she was a lawyer presenting evidence, and it was a fact that changed everything.

"Lisa, I don't even know what you mean."

"You quote her from memory. Like she is your favorite film." Holly picked back up her glass of wine, unsure of the sentiment.

"I don't quote her."

"I'm like a cat." Lisa started as she stared directly into Holly's eyes.

"I'm very good at climbing trees. And then the minute I get up there, I have no idea what to do. I want to get down, but I don't know how to do that. So I create an emergency situation to get out of it."

"Out of the tree?" Rachel chimed in.

"Out of relationships." Lisa finished.

"Okay. I get it." Holly muttered.

"Wait. What about our favorite part?" Rachel whined. Holly could tell Rachel was beginning to feel the effects of the wine. Holly exhaled, letting her head fall back against the couch.

"Why am I even talking to you ladies?"

"Because we are your best friends." Lisa said with a smile. "And Gail isn't your friend."

"Stop it, Lisa. We are friends. We talk about everything."

"Do you talk about this?" Lisa asked with her eyebrows raised. "Do you talk about how she makes you feel? How you want to be closer to her? How you can't help it?"

"You are missing the point."

"Sweetie, you are not friends." Lisa took the wine glass from Holly's hand and sat it on the table. She then took the now empty hand into hers. Holly groaned inwardly. The move was patent Lisa, meant as comfort when she was about to lay out some harsh truths. And she did.

"There are people in your life you meet. And you laugh with them. You cry with them. You hold them close to your heart. And cheer for them to fall in love. To find their special one because they are special to you. Those are your friends. When you can't see the possibility of that special one because all you see is you and her, she is not your friend."

Holly could feel the tears forming in her eyes. It matched the pain in her heart. Was what Lisa was saying the truth? Luckily, she did not have to answer the question. Her cellphone was ringing. She retrieved it from the pocket of her jacket, hanging on the door, and answer. Her friends watched with great interest as Holly sharply inhaled, asked for someone's condition, and promised to be there quickly. She ended the call and put on her jacket.

"I got to go."

"Let me guess." Lisa said sarcastically. Everyone already guessed who was on the phone.

"She is in the hospital." Holly said simply.

"Oh my god." Lisa inhaled. Her two friends surrounded her, concern in their every movement.

"Is there anything you want us to do?" Rachel asked.

"I'll drive." Lisa offered. Holly smiled, immediately reminded why these women were her ladies.

"I love you guys." The three women hugged each other and reminded each other to drive safely. One look at Rachel and Lisa decided to take her home. She went to gather their things as Rachel pulled Holly to the side.

"I know she scares you." Rachel whispered as she hugged her friend. "There are so many unknown variables here. And there are not enough coin flips in the world that will make this easier for you."

"She can't be…" Holly started, but froze. She was not ready to share her biggest fear. But Rachel did not need the words.

"She could very well be, Hols. I think your safe place is that she isn't . But the question is could you handle it if she is."

Holly shrugged, not knowing what else to say. Rachel tenderly smiled, understanding her state.

"I got to go."

* * *

><p>Holly opened the passenger side door of her car and gingerly helped Gail into her seat. Gail reminded her that only her wrist was hurt. She ignored Gail. Once Gail was secured, Holly slid behind the wheel of the car, buckled up, and began the drive home.<p>

Silence filled much of the drive with Holly sneaking concerned peaks at Gail. Gail's head was thrown back, and her eyes were shut as if she was sleeping. After Holly's third look in her direction, Gail sat up and groaned.

"I'm fine, Holly."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Nope." Gail leaned back against the seat. The silence returned but only for a moment. Holly was not expecting Gail to break it. When she did, Holly had to strained to hear.

"She was supposed to be my friend." Gail whispered as if in pain. "She was supposed to be on my side."

Holly's heart hurt for Gail. She could hear the distress in Gail's voice, see what it cost her to admit it when she glanced into her eyes.

"What happened?"

Gail paused for a moment, as if weighing whether to talk about it. Holly hoped she did, if only to give her some release. Finally, Gail began talking again.

"She slept with Nick. Now she wants my blessing." Gail said scornfully.

Holly did not know anyone involved in the situation well. She knew Nick was Gail's ex. She wondered if Gail was not ready to let him go.

"And you feel that Nick is—"

"This has nothing to do with Nick." Gail cut her off harshly. She leaned into Holly, her apology in her big blue eyes.

"I mean it does. But it's not hard for me to see Nick as an asshole. Nick's a dick. But she was supposed to be my friend." Gail turned, peering out the window. A stillness took over her.

"Holly, I don't have many of those."

Holly tried to focus on the road before her, but she could not help the overwhelming bleakness that entered her heart.

"We're friends, Holly." Gail whispered. Her eyes did not leave the window at her side. "Aren't we?"

Holly felt Gail's uninjured hand move to cover hers. She could not speak. The contact took her breath away. She grimaced when she thought how the simplest touch left her feeling. She thought back to her earlier conversation with her friends. So many questions. So many emotions. None of them were in her voice when she answered Gail.

"Yes Gail, we are."

Holly felt Gail's hands tighten, almost as if she was hugging her. Holly looked back on the road, fearing her eyes were tearing up.

With a smile on her face that did not quite make it to the inside she said, "Let's get you home."

* * *

><p><strong><em>I really am trying to give this the feel of continuity with what aired so if you did not watch it I guess it would not make sense. Anyone who watched season four know what scenes I will be handling next. Please feel free to comment. Tell me what do you happening.<em>**


	5. Chapter 5

Holly sat at her desk where, to those passing by her office, she appeared to be searching through several files. Really, she was lost in thought and drifting through the documents. Holly was not worried about the paperwork. Instead her thoughts were consumed with questions about Gail.

Her cellphone sat on the corner of the desk. It had not vibrated once this morning. By now, she usually had at least a dozen texts from Gail to keep her entertained. Something was wrong. Holly felt it intuitively.

Holly had no form of communication with Gail at all this morning. Their last conversation had taken place last night at the Penny. And that conversation had lasted no more than thirty seconds. It was interrupted by Holly's date walking through the door.

She knew Gail had been out with her friends, but Gail never let a night turn to morning without texting her. Silly to say, but it was like Gail was checking in with Holly. Even sillier, Holly always took comfort in and looked forward to their late-night texting.

The worrying doctor wondered if her date had anything to do with the change in routine. Gail had looked surprised when Holly told her about what must have been a mystery woman. And the few times she had dared to look her friend's way during her date, her eyes came into direct contact with Gail's baby blues. In them, she had seen confusion and something else, an emotion she could not place.

On anyone else it would have been jealousy. But on Gail? No, Holly shook her head reinforcing her thoughts. After her initial reaction, Gail seemed fine with Holly dating. Not to say that Gail ever cared. Or even that Holly cared that Gail did not care. Really, who cared?

Holly groaned at the ridiculous turn her mind had taken and tried to steer her thoughts to a clearer topic. She needed to return to her work anyway. The waiting paperwork on her desk needed to be archived. She picked up the top file and opened it. Then she glanced at her phone.

Why had Gail not texted her by now? Had she grown tired of their mobile correspondence at the same time Holly had grown fond to them? The Gail Holly talked to and the Gail she texted often felt like totally different women to her. Both were still Gail, but one was more open to the deeper analysis of herself. And if Gail ever heard her describe their conversations as such Holly was pretty sure she would never text her again. Holly chuckled.

It's just that… Holly sighed. She put the file down and gave up trying to change her train of thought. It was strictly on the road to Gails-ville. No stops permitted. Maybe she should call her. Clear the air, though she could not imagine Gail ever wanting to talk about emotions.

Gail ran on her moods. Sometimes she was filled with energy. Other times she would become quiet while they talked. Her bright eyes would lose some of their light, and the confident, vibrant woman Holly was so used to seeing would disappear.

When that particular mood struck her, she would simply stop talking. Holly never knew what triggered the moods or where Gail's thoughts were leading her. She just knew that Gail needed space.

That was why the forensic pathologist cherished their texting relationship. When there was no requirement of voices, Gail seemed to let Holly inside a little more. Some nights their conversations started with a question. Two nights ago it had been "Am I a bitch, Holly?" That had led to several hours of talking about how Gail's cold persona had served as protection at some of the lower points in her life.

Other times it was an observation that got the ball rolling. For instance last week, Gail texted Holly that there were still moments when she found it hard to look at Traci. When Holly asked why, she learned about Gail's kidnapping.

Gail did not go into detail about what happened during the kidnapping, but she explained its circumstances and the aftermath including the rescue attempt and Jerry's death. She told her how the events of that day still invaded her dreams even during the day. And how she still felt guilty for being allowed to wake up when Jerry could not do the same.

The exchange opened Holly's heart even more to the woman who craftily hid herself behind her stoic nature. When they texted, Gail would lift the curtain on some of her vulnerabilities, sharing bits and pieces of herself. She loved getting to know all the different sides of this uniquely beautiful person with whom she felt such a deep connection.

She sighed. She simply missed Gail. She gave up any argument that floated to her mind telling her not to do what she was about to do, and she picked up the phone to let Gail know it.

She sent out a quick three worded text, then waited patiently for a response. She drummed her fingers frantically against the top of the desk. She rocked back and forth in her seat. Okay. Maybe she was not being exactly patient. Holly nearly jumped out of her seat when her phone vibrated. She did not actually expect a response but was glad to see it. She quickly picked up her phone and read.

**_Wrong number, nerd._**

Holly frowned as she reread the message. She read it a third time and it was still as confusing. Giving up any pretense in working at all, she sat back in her chair and tapped away on her phone.

**_I am talking to you, Gail._**

**_Oh._**

**_Why did you think you were a wrong number?_**

**_You were on a date last night._**

**_Yes. And?_**

**_And what?_**

**_It was a first date. Why would I text her that I miss her?_**

**_Maybe you had a really good night? Maybe you had a really great morning?_**

**_Really?! It was a first date!_**

**_Whatever Holly. I'm about to do a debriefing. Ttyl._**

Holly silently stared at her phone, her jaw dropped low. That did not go at all. Did Gail just TTYL her? Did she just blow her off? Holly massaged the side of her neck, hoping to relieve some of the stress. Maybe she was reading too much into those few sentences. But Gail did sound curt.

Holly was still trying to wrap her head around the conversation, when one of the interns for the morgue knocked on her opened door.

"Good morning, Dr. Stewart." She looked up and smiled at the lanky teen. His slightly messy fohawk made him look even younger than his 19-years.

"Hi, Andrew. What do you need?"

"Nothing. I wanted you to know that I'm headed to 15. It's all code red down there so they're pulling us to help in the labs." Holly sat up sharply in her seat at the new unsettling information.

"What do you mean code red?"

"They're not telling us anything, but I'm pretty sure it's the sniper." He shrugged. Her eyes bulged.

"Excuse me?"

"The shooter? You haven't heard?" Her expression made it clear she had not heard. Andrew looked around the morgue before stepping further into Holly's office. Holly understood. He did not want to get caught gossiping.

"Someone is running around trying to take out their cops." Holly lost all ability to talk for a minute. This could not be true. But obviously Andrew believed it. His face showed no hidden joke. He continued.

"The way I hear it anyone wearing blue at fifteen might as well be wearing a red bulls-eye. It's only a matter of time before a pair of cross-hairs hit them."

"That's enough, Andrew." Holly said, holding out her palm to stop him.

"I will let everyone know where you have been moved."

"It's only temporary. Thanks Dr. Stewart."Andrew left the room, not fazed in the slightly by the conversation.

Meanwhile, Holly turned back to her files but saw nothing. Her eyes were clouded with visions of Gail trapped in an ally, being fired on and falling to the ground. She tried to shake the image, even physically shaking her head. But she just could not do it. Gail. Her Gail. Beautiful blonde hair. Steel clear blue eyes. Her sarcastic smirk. Her warm smile. All of it wiped away by a bullet.

Holly found it hard to breathe as the terrifying images took a hold of her. She was overreacting she told herself. But she could not stop her mind from working up deadly scenarios, each one more realistic than the next. Holly knew that the only way she could control herself was hearing Gail, seeing that she was fine.

Holly grabbed the first file off her desk along her jacket and rushed out of the building.

The first thing Holly did when she returned to her office was throw her jacket into the chair on the opposite side of the desk. Her emotions were frayed, but it was to be expected. She had just learned that some had shot at Gail. That Gail was going back out where the shooter could possibly be waiting on them. And that Gail Peck, the girl who had been wrecking her emotions since they day they met, was definitely interested her.

Gail kissed her. Holly let that thought run through her mind a few more times. It had been nothing like the peck she had given Gail the night of the wedding. Gail's kiss had been an aggressive, passionate claiming of her lips. And it has not stopped at one.

Holly leaned against the door of her office and wiped her palm over her face. Her fingers stilled at her lips. Those lips felt warmer than usual, softer to the touch. They still tingled. And when she let her tongue drift over them, she still tasted the unique taste of a Gail's lip balm.

Holly ran a hand through her hair while the other pushed the door to her office closed. Kissing Gail was amazing. It was so unexpected in so many ways.

Holly replayed the scene from the beginning. She had marched into the station intent on talking to Gail. She had even lied to get the officer alone so she could find out if what Andrew said was true. Gail confirmed it. And just when Holly began to freak out, Gail kissed her.

It was one smooth kiss that took her breath away. It made her not want to continue their conversation. Why would she want to talk if she knew kissing Gail was an available option? And apparently it was! Holly inhaled, covering her mouth in shock. Kissing Gail was an option she now had! She exhaled with a giddy laugh.

She brought her hands to her chest, feeling her quickening heartbeat. If she had any questions about the point of the first kiss, she could not question the tender display of possession behind the second. Or the third. Heck, she had lost count by the time Gail had her pressed against the one-way mirror of the interrogation room.

Gail's lips worked their sensual assault, making Holly's knees quiver. This time they were joined by her tongue. It easily slipped through Holly's lips to caress the inside of her mouth. She melted as it tangled with the sensitive taste buds of her tongue. Each touch caused a heated spark that bathed Holly in warmth and caused her core to clench.

Holly thought she would drown in the overwhelming feelings that enveloped her. Soft moans from both women began to fill the room, as Gail's hands traveled through Holly's hair. Her fingers held her in place while their touch sent chills down her spine.

Holly had heard the sayings about fire and ice coexisting, but never realized how it would be. Then Gail worked one hand under her jacket, down her back while her mouth nibbled on her neck, and she shivered. She now knew.

Holly could only hold on to Gail's hips. Her fingers wrapped around the belt hoops of Gail's pants pulling her as physically close as possible. Gail's fingers made it to the edge of Holly's shirt and touched the bare skin of her lower back, before the two broke apart.

Both women instinctively claimed their own space, needing it to recollect themselves. Holly stayed pressed against the one way mirror. Gail walked three steps before turning to face her. Seconds passed as they stared at each other. Desire still heated both their gazes. Their raged breaths still filled the room with sound.

Nothing was said, and slowly their breathing calmed. Gail walked to the door, grabbing the door lever. She rested her head against the door, her eyes closed. Regret began to creep up Holly as she watched Gail. It froze when Gail turned to the doctor and offered a tentative smile. Before Holly could say anything, Gail left. Evidently when she said stop talking, she meant no more talking.

Holly groaned inwardly as her thoughts of the past took her to this present situation. What did it all mean? Should she dare to hope, to dream that there could be another step in her relationship with Gail? A step passed friendship?

Holly froze as she heard her cellphone vibrate. She already knew who was texting her. Rushing over to her jacket, she pulled the phone out of a pocket. Steeling herself, she opened it and read.

**_Are you okay?_**

Holly smiled. It made her feel good knowing she was not the only one concerned by today. She wandered to her desk and sat down. Then she replied.

**_Yes. Are you?_**

**_We will talk when I get back._**

**_You just make sure you get back. Safe and sound._**

**_Okay. Holly?_**

**_Yeah?_**

**_I flipped before I left the station. Heads._**

**_What does that mean?_**

**_Wouldn't you like to know. ;)_**

Holly laughed as she read Gail's last reply. Gail Peck may very well be the death of her. Holly leaned back and exhaled slowly. What a way to go!

* * *

><p><em>NOTE: Thanks for reading! I've always found it harder to write Holly since we see Gail more. But I do like the idea of going show by show from her standpoint. You may have noticed that I really don't focus on what was on scene but to kind of understand the story you have to have watched. I only give an overview. I think most Golly fans know the scenes by heart.<em>

_i hope I am doing the characters justice. I'd love to hear what you think of this story so far._


	6. Chapter 6

_NOTES: And there goes the end of season 4. FYI, I think I should get points for working Don Henley seamlessly into this chapter._

* * *

><p>Holly was in a bad mood. It did not happen often, but when it did everyone in her office knew to stay away. Right now she did not want to talk. The door of her office was closed. The blinds on her window were down. She wanted her focus completely on the stack of files that covered the top of her desk.<p>

She needed to work. She wanted to work. The only thing she wanted to do was crawl into her cases, let the mysteries consume her thoughts, then go home and crawl into her bed. She did not want to think about the 15 Division, the madman targeting them, or the female officer whose well-being she could dwell on for the entire night.

The forensic pathologist could not do anything about the dangers outside her lab. She could only help with the situations brought to her. Those she could control. And that was what she needed for her own sanity today. She did not want to think about Gail. The name even whispered in her thought made her shudder. It brought back memories of great moments and terrible feelings, both from today. And all Holly wanted to do was forget.

This was ultimately why she regretted the texts of frustration she had sent out to her friends earlier today. They would not let her close herself off in her office. They just wanted to comfort her, but 25 unanswered texts later Holly feared her friends were killing the memory on her phone.

She should blame Gail for her uneven emotions. She had started the day miserable. Her spirits had quickly been uplifted by the certifiably insane Gail Peck kissing her senseless, much to Holly's delight. Then, not three hours later, the same Officer Peck had refused to acknowledge her second visit to the station. The infuriating blonde was a textbook example of taking two steps forward and one step back.

No person should give her this level of frustration, Holly reprimanded herself. No one person should be allowed to take over her thoughts in this way. It amazed Holly that after all of their time spent together, she still could not grasp her feelings for Gail.

The often astute doctor had never been overwhelmed entirely by one person. She was not saying she was in love with Gail. That would be insanity at its finest. But she worried that she could fall quickly. And it baffled her.

She knew the science behind it. She could explain how dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin all played their parts in driving people to unimaginable levels of lust, love, even insanity. That much was clear to her. She never questioned the concept of love. This was not the first time Holly had feared someone had worked their way into her heart. Love was not foreign to Holly. Not as a concept. Not as a science. And not as an emotion.

She simply could not, would not, find a place for love in this situation. Holly chided herself for being too invested in her relationship with Gail from their first day together. She had known this amazingly complex woman could end up being a person with whom she shared her best days and her worst days. She just did not expect both to be the same day.

The cellphone on Holly's desk chirped, alerting her to a new text. She had forgotten to turn off the damn thing. She looked down at text number 26 and gave up on being left alone. She typed out her answer quickly. It was just three words. "I am fine." Her phone immediately rang in response. Holly shook her head, yet still hit the button to connect the call.

"You are not fine."

The statement was no where near as welcoming as the usual hello. Holly thought it failed miserably as a start to a conversation, but she expected nothing less from her friends. She set the speaker phone and went back to her files. Before speaking, Holly put on a forced smile. She had heard once that if you wanted to sound happy, you should talk with a smile. It was as good as any time to test the theory.

"Rachel, I am actually doing okay."

"Yeah, right." Rachel drawled derisively. Holly's fake smile went out the window with the bad theory.

"Tell me what did she do?" Rachel continued without pause. No one had to question who the she represented in the question. Still, Holly remained silent in obstinance.

"Holly, I will come down there. I will end up sitting at your desk, playing with your files." Rachel warned. Holly sighed and relented.

"She kissed me." Holly mumbled. She could hear Rachel's sharp intake of breath and knew what question was coming next. Holly did not want to hear it. She did not have an answer for it. So to fill the space she started talking.

"Before you say anything, its not what you think. This does not change anything. When you think about it she may not have even wanted to do it. She's having a stressful day. Someone out there is hunting cops. They shot at her. No, she was not hurt. Thank God! She was not hurt. But I found her after it happened and forced her to tell me about it. Though I don't think anyone could really force Gail to tell them anything. She can be like a bank safe. I could spend the entire night trying to figure out the right code to get her to let me in and still—"

"Holly." Rachel calmly interrupted her friend then waited patiently. Holly's lips stopped moving, closing with a firm press. When silence returned to the line, Rachel spoke again.

"Get to the good part."

"Oh. Okay." Holly said as she ran her right hand through her hair. She noticed for the first time her fingers were shaking. When did that happened? She looked at them, silently ordering them to stop. When it did not work, she took a deep breath and sat them flat on top of her desk.

"She kissed me." Holly repeated. She was sure she had said that sentence to herself at least a dozen times today. And every time she felt differently about it. How could three words bring out in her so many different responses?

"Why do you sound so miserable?" Rachel's voice drifted through the phone, drawing Holly away from her confused mind. Holly's eyes begin to water.

"She regrets it." The usually calm doctor breathed out. She closed her eyes until they were clear of any emotion. Rachel slowly exhaled into the phone as if she was ordering Holly to do the same. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft and comforting.

"Did she tell you that?"

"Rachel, I don't need to be told that." Holly answered harshly. Rachel took no offense.

"How else would you know?" She talked as if she was speaking with someone younger, more emotionally unstable than Holly. That voice usually infuriated the doctor. But at this moment it calmed her nerves.

"I went to see her after… you know…" Holly's voice broke as the memories of the moment flittered through her mind. "And she rebuffed me."

The scene Holly was speaking of flashed into her thoughts.

"I just wanted to lay eyes on her, to touch her. She looked at me like I was a viper waiting to strike." Holly could not forget of the fear she had seen in Gail's eyes. It made her heart hurt. She actually felt a pain in her chest growing at the memories.

"It sounds like Gail was going through the panic." Rachel rationalized.

"It did not feel like it." Holly squeaked. Rachel paused. She softened her voice even more.

"Not even when you look back at it?"

"Rachel, it hurts." The way Holly's voice went small as she uttered the last two words had her friend wishing she was in the room with the doctor. Holly sounded like she needed a hug in the worse way.

"I know it hurts, sweetie. But does this really sound like Gail?"

"She's a runner. You know that. She told me that the first day I met her. I should have listened." The words sounded rough even to Holly's ears.

"Holly, I think you are being a little hard on Gail and a lot hard on yourself."

"No. I'm being realistic." Holly nodded to herself. The movement was like a live audience giving her encouragement.

"For the first time, I am being pragmatic about this situation." Holly stood up at her desk and looked down at her phone. She pushed for what she hoped was clarity.

"I need a break, Rachel."

"Okay. You want to grab some lunch at—"

"I mean I need a break from Gail." Holly struggled with those words. And Rachel heard it.

"Gail is not gay. She's straight. She has never even entertained an attraction to women."

"She kissed you, Holly." Rachel interjected.

"Second base with a woman does not make you a lesbian."

"It doesn't make you straight." Rachel reasoned. Holly took the phone off speaker and pressed it to her ear.

"Gail is my friend." She said earnestly. "She sees me as her friend. That's our relationship. Oh my god, Rachel. I think I have to walk away."

"I think this panic may be contagious." Rachel sighed. Holly walked in front of her desk. Her body moved with the speed of her thoughts.

"You don't understand. I need to stop it before it goes too far."

"Can you define too far?" Rachel asked. Holly rolled her eyes at the asinine question.

"I think you can guess the perimeters I'm working within here."

"Gail is not exactly a polygon, Holly."

"No, she's a circle. And I am not going to be her pi." Holly declared decisively.

"Her pi?" Rachel chuckled. "Well, you are being a bit irrational."

"I don't want to love her." Holly blurted out. She stilled her pacing at the statement. Her halt left her standing in front of her office door. She had not expected those words. She knew, though, as soon as they were frantically out of her mouth that she meant them. She was really scared of where she was headed.

"I can care for her. I do care about her. But I can't love her." Holly leaned back, her head resting against the door. She looked up as if she was sending out a prayer to the heavens.

"I can't love her, Rachel."

"Then don't." Rachel replied as if doing it was as simple as saying it. "Just try not to sound so sad about it."

Holly was not sure she could change the tone of her voice. She sounded sad because she was sad. Luckily, she did not have to try to explain it. Her phone beeped, interrupting their conversation. She looked down at her phone and felt a chill run up her spine.

"The hospital is on the other line."

"Call me back." Rachel ordered.

"Maybe." Holly tossed out. She doubted Rachel heard her because she was already switching over the line.

* * *

><p>Holly was searching for a parking lot in the visitor portion of the hospital parking garage when Rachel called her back.<p>

"What is with you two and hospitals?" Holly rolled her eyes at yet another unusual start to their conversation.

"You sound like Lisa."

"Take that back." Rachel huffed. Holly refused. She silently cheered as she found a spot close to the stairs.

"So how is your cop doing?" Holly ignored the obvious intent of the question and answered it seriously.

"Gail sounded a little shaken but fine. A friend of hers is hurt though. Is it crazy that I just want to take her home?"

"Don Henley style?" Holly heard the smirk in Rachel's voice as she took the flight of stairs to the hospital lobby. She grimaced.

"I'm sadden that I know what you mean by that. And no."

Rachel laughed. "I want to meet Gail."

"Get in line," Holly muttered. She opened the door and stepped into the lobby. A group of officers were already on the move so Holly followed them to the waiting room area. She waited just outside of the entrance. She scanned the entire area taking in all of the men and women in uniform patiently waiting for an update on their friend. Holly recognized several of them. This was 15. Holly sighed, feeling out of place surrounded by police officers.

"Rachel, what am I doing?"

"Besides falling for a semi-straight girl?" Rachel's kind voice belied her own thoughts. "You had to know getting into this that the odds were not in your favor?"

Holly frowned, her eyes still surveying the room. "Aren't you being an anti-Effie?"

Rachel laughed. Holly could not do the same. Her search stopped as her eyes fell on the back of a female officer sporting a blonde ponytail. Holly did not need to see her face to know it was Gail, a Gail without bandages or casts. Holly felt a rush of relief stealing her breath away. It left her shaken to her bones. So shaken, she almost dropped her phone. Gail was fine. She had heard her say it on the phone, but seeing that it was true was nearly her undoing. Holly had not realized how worried she had been until that second. She tried to exhale to release the emotions overpowering her and found she could not. She could not move. She let her body fall against the nearest wall and waited for control to return. Her eyes never left Gail. She heard Rachel call her name. When she was steady once again, she answered.

"Rachel, I have to go."

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I don't think I can talk to you, walk and look at Gail at the same time." Holly admitted.

"Oh boy." Rachel whispered to her friend. "Be safe, Holly. And may the odds be ever in your favor."


	7. Chapter 7

Holly finished putting on her pajamas. She was absolutely ready for the end of the day. The matching flower imprinted tank-top set she now wore had been bought by her aunt. She rarely wore it, but thought a little extra cover would not be a bad idea tonight.

The tired brunette stretched out on her bed. Her mind drifted off to the events that took place earlier at the hospital. Holly found Gail minutes after making it to the facility. Once she was at Gail's side, she never left her. She could not imagine a more important place at that moment. Gail must have agreed. The blonde cop clung adorably to her hand the entire night. Holly came to give her support and comfort, and Gail gladly and publicly accepted it. Why would she move away and dissuade her from doing that?

Holly had remained at the hospital for several hours, passing the time by meeting several of Gail's friends. With every introduction, Holly's heart grew much like the Grinch's in the Doctor Seuss classic. She knew Gail introducing her to her brother had been the hardest step. With each new introduction, Holly felt her place in Gail's life solidify. It was a great feeling for the doctor after her day of uncertainty. But she tempered her happiness with her concern for Gail's injured colleague and the saddened officer at her side.

When Gail finally told Holly to go home she was unsure she should leave. She did not walk out of that building until a plethora of assurances from Gail that she would be fine. She never expected the tensions of the day to follow her home, and was very surprised when they did.

Holly sat up as Gail stepped hesitantly into her bedroom. The tired officer wore one of Holly's sleep shirts, the light blue in the shirt balancing perfectly with her eyes. Her hair was still damp from their impromptu shower. The shirt stopped above Gail's ankles and swayed slightly every time she moved.

"I feel like I'm drowning." Gail muttered. Holly just smiled.

Gail's new shorter hairstyle gave her a slightly younger appearance. Holly giggled inwardly. Just what she needed, to feel like she was robbing the cradle. Luckily they were close enough in age that Holly did not have to use wild animals to explain their relationship.

Holly adjusted her glasses; her stare never left Gail. She simply could not take her eyes off of the blonde standing stiffly at her door. It was not just because she was beautiful, though she was beautiful.

Holly looked at skin so pale that from far away you would fear it was translucent. That same skin she knew felt like silk passing over her fingers it was so smooth to the touch. She scanned devastatingly enchanting lips with edges currently tilting downward. Her eyes fell on eyes so icy blue, it was hard to picture any emotion on display in them except indifference. But those eyes were currently so soft and vulnerable, it was as if they had lost what little color they had in them. Holly ended her study with ruffled pixie-cut hair that framed her face perfectly, she bragged to herself. Yes, Gail was incredibly beautiful.

But it was not looking at Gail that drew Holly to her. Being around Gail always brought on a wave of euphoria that threatened to sweep Holly away. Sometimes she could not breathe with its intensity. She had felt it from the beginning, and it only strengthened with time and experience.

Gail shifted uncomfortably under Holly's earnest gaze. Her feet rocked back and forward at the threshold of the bedroom.

"Holly, you don't have to worry about me." Holly tilted her head with a look of confusion.

"You are looking at me like you think I'm going to bolt," Gail explained. "You don't have to worry."

Holly's lips formed a small smile. She slowly slid off of the bed and approached Gail. Once in front of her, she rested her hands on the anxious blonde's hips, gently tugging at the shirt fabric covering her.

"Gail, I am not worried about you." Holly leaned in, mere inches from her face. Her breath tickled Gail's cheek. "The look I am giving you now… this is not me worried about you."

She saw Gail relax; the stress and strain evaporated from her body, loosening it from the invisible string that held it painfully still. As Gail's eyes fell to Holly's lips, Holly leaned closer and pulled the intriguing woman into a kiss.

Her lips explored Gail's with a slow ease. She learned their shape, the way they adjusted to the gentle pull of her teeth. She let her tongue quickly swipe the inside of Gail's bottom lip and took note of how the blond's shuttering breath. She absorbed Gail's small whimper when she deepened the kiss, and her soft moan of distress when she pulled back.

"Have I told you how happy I am I get to kiss you?" Holly's husky voice worked its way through Gail much like smoke through a chimney. It left nothing untouched including Gail's well-worn heart.

"I no longer wonder about it, or have to only think about it. It's not left up to my dreams about it." Holly brushed her lips against Gail's again, feeling the deep breath she took. "I love being able to just do it."

"That's good, Holly." Gail said with a chuckle. "Nike definitely knew what it was talking about. Cause all I want you to ever do is… it."

Holly looked down into Gail's bright eyes and saw desire begin to darken them. She was playing with fire. Tonight was not a good night for uncontrollable flames.

"Let's get some rest." Holly turned from Gail, but her hand immediately connected with her wrist. She tugged Gail to the bed. "Left or right?"

"Whichever's closer to the door." Gail sighed. Holly smiled seductively.

"Planning your getaway so soon?" Gail shrugged.

"I have to get up early tomorrow. To check in on Dov and Chloe." Holly nodded in understanding.

"To the right it is."

Holly walked to the other side of the bed, put her glasses on the bedside table, and slid in. She waited for Gail to join her. When Gail was lying comfortably, she cut the lights to the room. Her head only caressed her pillow for seconds before she heard Gail groan.

"Nerd, you are too far away." Holly laughed and moved closer as Gail flipped to her side.

"Why didn't I guess you were the small spoon type?" Holly wrapped herself around Gail, pressing against her back. She rested her head on Gail's pillow.

"Someone found my unused stash of body wash. You smell like peaches."

"You know I can eat a peach for hours." Gail mumbled. Holly froze, sitting up to look awkwardly at Gail. Gail's face stayed planted in her pillow.

"Nicolas Cage. Face Off." Gail rattled off. Holly grinned, her body falling back in position behind Gail.

"Holly, I am hungry." Gail whispered.

"For what?"

"Tacos?" Holly sat up again.

"That's not another euphemism. Is it?"

"No." Gail grinned. Holly sighed.

"Gail, at this time of night? Really?" Gail remained silent. She did not even move. Holly rolled her eyes but relented.

"Okay, I think there is one on Keele Street… And why are you laughing." Gail's body shook the bed. She turned her back, her head swinging towards Holly with a huge grin.

"You were going to get me tacos?"

"Were is a very apt word." Holly huffed. She did not see what was the big deal. Gail clarified it for her.

"You hate Taco Bell."

"Apparently not as much as I like other things." Holly replied. She rolled over in a fit, her back to Gail. Gail sighed longingly.

"Too bad I can't have it. With my allergies and all." Holly shot up from the bed.

"I knew it! Then why do you bring it up?!"

"You get this look… all adorable." Gail's eyes swept Holly's face tenderly. "I can't help it. It's all your fault."

"Goodnight Gail." Holly once again turned away from her.

"But this time, you said yes." The surprise Gail felt was in her voice. So was her smile. "You like me, Holly."

"Go to sleep, Gail." Holly muttered. Her pillow muffled her words.

"You said yes. I didn't have to flip for it or anything. All because you like me. What's the odds on that?"

Gail turned back on her side. The room fell quiet, but Holly could still hear the awe in Gail's voice. She wanted to yell that of course she liked her, probably too much to even confess so soon. How could this infuriating woman be so awed by such a simple gesture?

Holly gave up the pretense of any real anger. She flipped to her side bringing her arm across Gail's waist. She smiled as Gail slid back against her. She guessed her arm would be stiff in the morning. But a stiff arm was worth it. She drifted off to sleep with Gail's question in her mind. What's the odds that Holly would do anything, even make a late night run to Taco Bell? To make Gail happy? She figured the odds were pretty damn good.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Thank you for your wonderful reviews. Keep them coming. And please feel free to share any questions or comments. I hope you enjoy this chapter!_**

* * *

><p>Holly was standing in the kitchen on the phone when Gail rushed into her home wearing a bright smile. She carried a large black duffle-bag and two large plastic bags.<p>

"Stop whatever you're doing," she ordered cheerfully. She kicked the door closed and motioned for Holly to step away from the stove. "You are not cooking tonight. Tonight is being catered." Gail grinned as she sat the plastic bags on the kitchen counter and the duffle-bag on the floor. Holly scanned the bags, the phone still pressed to her ear.

"Lisa, I'll call you back." Holly spoke into the phone, but her eyes fell on the beautiful blonde definitely making her presence known.

"Yes, you heard right. She certainly knows how to make an entrance."

Gail smugly waved her eyebrows at Holly. She placed her elbows on the counter and leaned into them. She looked awfully proud of herself. The rare sight of a chipper Gail caused the inside of Holly's stomach to flutter. She shook her head smiling back at the younger woman.

"We will see. But I am not making promises. Plan tentatively. Bye Lisa." Holly disconnected the call, then lifted her glasses and massaged the ridge of her nose. Gail chuckled at the show of irritation.

"Who's Lisa?" The question came out nonchalantly. Gail focused primarily on unpacking the bags before her.

"One of my best friends." Holly paused. This maybe the segue way she needed she thought. "Speaking of my friends…"

"I brought dinner." Gail interrupted with a giddy smile. Holly frowned at the interruption but went with it. They could discuss her friends later.

"I see that." She nodded at the bags. "Are we celebrating?"

Gail nodded slowly as she pushed herself away from the counter. She inched her way to the slightly confused brunette.

"We are celebrating…" Gail paused as her eyes roamed Holly's body.

"My…" She enunciated the word.

"New…" Her still gloved hands latched onto Holly's hips, pulling her into a loose embrace.

"Girlfriend." Gail finished with a smile. Holly knew she was grinning excessively at the show of affection. She did not care.

"I am always up for a celebration." She rested her forehead against Gail, feeling content and energized at the same time. She had realized a long time ago Gail had a unique way with her. She brought on feelings no one else was able to even get close to creating in the doctor.

"Good." Gail whispered. "I'm going to get out of this uniform, take a shower, and change. Then we are going to have dinner and do whatever you want to do. I have not seen or heard from you all day."

"Aww," Holly chuckled. "You missed me." Gail scoffed as she pulled playfully away from Holly.

"I'm sorry. I meant to at least text." Holly said sincerely. "I was caught up in a homicide case with Detective Nash. They found a dead guy in the basement of a store."

"I bet you solved it in like ten minutes." Gail bragged, clearly proud of her.

"Ten minutes?" Holly clutched her chest appalled. "That's a long time. Have you no faith in my abilities?"

The edges of Gail's lips slid up seductively.

"I don't know. I really haven't tested them yet."

Gail's left hand slid along the back of Holly's right hand, caressing each inch of skin along the way. Holly felt the touch all through her. Bright blue eyes stared directly into their brown counterparts. Her eyes shared the intimate tone of her voice. There was no denying what Gail was alluding to.

A heated tension filled the room. The women's fingers intertwined as if dancing with each other. Holly nearly melted on the spot. She had no doubt she would if she let this continue. Reluctantly but resolved, she moved her hand and stepped back.

"Well," Holly cleared her throat and ventured closer into the center of the room. "I'll finish unpacking the bags. You go. Shower."

She shook her head towards the stairs. Gail tilted hers to the side. Her brow wrinkled in confusion. Still she followed Holly's lead, which made Holly very grateful. When Gail grabbed her duffle-bag and headed for the stairs, Holly sighed in relief. Then Gail dropped her duffle-bag and turned.

"I forgot something."

She made a beeline for Holly. Holly backed up against the counter as Gail beared down, an odd determination on her face. She was pressed firmly against the small space when Gail slipped off her glasses and placed them on the counter behind her. Before Holly could question her, Gail's lips captured those of the brunette in one swift motion. Her hands gripped the counter keeping Holly under her. Not that Holly minded.

The kiss was firm and possessive. She explored Holly's lips once again memorizing the feel of them, before she dipped inside with her tongue to catch up with a taste she had been missing all day. It was total domination. Holly could do nothing except work her hands to the center of Gail's back and follow the officer's lead. Holly felt as if she was drowning, but she would curse anyone to Hell if they tried to pull her away. After Gail had skillfully stolen Holly's breath, she pulled back. Holly moaned in disappointment.

"Hi Holly." Gail breathed, sending tingles down Holly's neck.

"Hi Gail." Holly muttered in return. Gail looked down at Holly's throughly kissed lips and smirked.

"I'll be right back." She picked up her bag and sprinted up the steps taking the stairs two at a time. Holly stood in the same spot for several minutes, getting her own desires under control. Each day she found it harder to do. But each day she also found the resolve to do it. She really wanted Gail. Nothing surprised her about that. But she wanted Gail completely. Not just body. She thought maybe she could have her heart one day… maybe even her soul. It sounded wicked put that way. But Holly promised herself she would treasure and take care of anything Gail gave to her.

Holly put away her romantic notions and decided to deal with what was before her today. Today, she had a girlfriend. Her heart immediately lightened at the thought. She looked at the bags on the counter. She had a girlfriend who had bought them dinner at… Holly's eyes squinted as she tried to make out the words on the bags. Something was missing. She grabbed her glasses from the counter and tried again. What she read made her smile once more. Her fingers played over the words on the bag. She could not believe it. The gesture could not go unacknowledged.

Holly rushed to the steps, quickly taking them to the second floor. She headed to the bathroom, only to find it empty. She then saw her bedroom door was closed. She retreated for a second, then thought against it. With a deep breath, Holly knocked on the door and called Gail's name. Gail responded. Holly opened the door and stepped into the room. She noticed Gail's shadow coming from the walk-in closet.

"Gail," Holly called. Her entire heart was in the name. Gail leaned out of the closet, startled by the deep emotion she heard. She wore a thin tank top. Her uniform shirt clenched in her hands.

"Are you okay?"

Holly smiled a smile that could light up a city for days. The smile could put the sun to shame. Gail inhaled sharply, taking it in. Both women just looked at each other. Finally, Holly broke the silence.

"You brought us vegan stir-fry." It was such a weird sentence, but it had an effect. Gail looked away; her cheeks began to turn a shade of pink.

"Do you mind if I hang my uniform up? I didn't really know where else to put it. I could have stuffed it in my duffle bag, but it would wrinkle."

Holly just watched Gail. Her face did not lose her smile. Gail hung up her shirt and sighed.

"Don't make it a big deal, Holly."

"You stepped into a vegan restaurant. You ordered from a vegan menu. You plan on eating vegan tonight." Holly walked to Gail and took hold of her hands. "How can I not make this a big deal?"

Holly knew Gail was opposed to everything vegan. She once described it as eating grass. Gail rolled her eyes, reacting much like a kid caught doing something nice without asking.

"Well, you were willing to eat Taco Bell for me. And make no mistake. While I can't eat Taco Bell, you will one day make me tacos."

If possible, Holly's smile brightened even more. "Count on it."

She pulled Gail to her. The cop's mini rant confirming what she expected. Holly Stewart was not the only one standing there drowning in deep emotions. She was not the only one caught up in whatever was happening between them.

Knowing that she was not alone in what she considered to be an unstoppable growing wave sent Holly into a tizzy. Before she knew what she was doing, her mouth was on Gail with a force that sent Gail careening into the closet.

Her back hit the wall hard as Holly pressed into her. Their lips moved in an unmatchable speed, drawing moans from both women. Their movements were frantic. They nibbled and sucked. Their tongues dueled each other, trying to usurp the other in a battle neither could lose. Their hands pulled and pressed at each other.

Holly's hands ended up at Gail's waist. They then slid under her thin shirt, caressing the heated skin now available for her touch. She reveled as she worked her hands up Gail's smooth stomach. Her fingers hit sensitive points like a conductor creating a symphony of pleasure. Those fingers surrounded Gail's breasts, giving each a slow squeeze, making sure her thumbs teased the nipples. Gail whimpered. Holly captured it with her mouth.

Gail would not be undone. Her right hand pulled at the bottom of Holly's top while her left hand dipped into her coal black hair. As she pulled the dark-haired doctor closer, her legs opened to give Holly room. Holly succumbed to Gail's wishes as the blonde's upper thigh pushed its way easily in between Holly's legs. She let go a choked sound when she felt a firm press against her core. Had it really been that long?

The unexpected shock of intense pleasure caused Holly to stumble and break the embrace. She stepped back, her body shaking with desire. Gail saw it. Just as Holly saw the same desire in Gail's eyes, watch it steal her breath, causing her to inhale and exhale harshly. Gail took a step toward Holly but the doctor turned away, walking out of the closet.

Holly's mind was sending her twenty different messages telling her what to do. She did not know which road was the safest. She knew what she wanted to do. Her mind went back to the night before. She was unsure if Gail was ready. She did not want to scare her off. She could not imagine anything worse than scaring her off.

She heard Gail emerge from the closet before she turned around and saw her. Holly was still shaking. She did not know when she would stop. Too many strong emotions were in the forefront. She exhaled slowly and tried to gain control of some of them.

"I think I'll need to heat up dinner," Holly said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"We should have just brought it upstairs with us." Gail smirked. "It would have been piping hot in no time."

Holly gave a forced smile, but she could not maintain it. She spun around before it fell, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Holly halted when she heard Gail's voice. There were something strange in it that caused it to waver. Her hand tightly gripped the door nob.

"I need heat up dinner." Gail scrunched her face at Holly's answer.

"So we are just going to leave that in the closet?" Holly bit back a small smile at the irony of that statement. She turned, coming face to face with a bewildered Gail.

"Dinner…"

"Screw dinner, What's going on Holly?" Gail bit her lip as her eyes dimmed. "Don't you want this?"

"Of course I want this." Holly quickly reassured Gail. She hating hearing uncertainty in Gail's voice. She never wanted to be the cause of it.

"Then why do you keep pulling away?" Gail looked away from Holly, reluctant about where to to go next.

"In the closet… In the kitchen earlier… Last night before bed… Don't you think I can tell?" Gail eyes landed back on Holly, the pain of rejection illuminating in them. Holly hurt seeing it so vividly.

"Gail it's so soon—"

"Do you think I don't want you? Or I'm not sure?" Gail questions silenced Holly. They hit so close to a truth that the older woman had never wanted to let breathe for fear it would become reality.

"Is this because I'm not… Because I've never…" Gail paused turning her back to Holly. There was nothing to view but a wall. Still she remained faced away. Before Holly could reassure her, Gail took a deep breath and was speaking again.

"Holly, I think about you all of the time," she confessed. "I never told you. At first it was just how amazing you are. You are so smart. That became how beautiful you are. Then you had that date, and it pissed me off. I saw her make you laugh. I saw her touch you. I wondered if she was going to kiss you… How was it like to kiss you… To touch you… To really feel you…"

Gail slowly turned until clouded blue eyes were back on Holly. The doctor tried to read the emotion she saw in them, but Gail had never looked at her that way. Holly pressed down the hope she felt springing forward. She could not trust it yet.

"If this is you being unsure of me Holly, don't be. I know I am new at this. But I've been a rookie before." Gail shrugged and licked her lips. "Success is 90 percent luck, ten percent timing. Our timing is right, Holly. Let's get lucky."

The look that came over Gail in that moment was priceless. It was mixture of horror and hope. Holly let go a surprised guffaw, then quickly covered her mouth. She watched as Gail turned beet red.

"I did not just say that?" Holly kept her mouth covered but could not stop another guffaw.

"Oh my god!" Gail uttered softly. "I think I did." Her eyes lit up at Holly before the laughter came out in full force.

"Gail, you just asked to get lucky!" Holly laughed.

"I don't know why." Gail covered her heated cheeks with her hands. "I didn't know what to say. I usually don't have to say anything. I didn't know what to say."

Laughter filled the room as the two women let go of all of the raw feelings that been pushing and pulling at them. Holly was the first to gain control of herself. She watched as Gail spasmed against the wall under her own laughter.

She took delight at seeing the woman in front of her so carefree. She was beautiful, so honest with who she was and who she was hoping others could be. Holly admitted Gail could be harsh at time but she was always truthful. Holly realized she did not just want Gail. She was starting to need her.

As Gail's laughter subsided, Holly grabbed the bedroom's doorknob and slowly closed the door. She turned around to find Gail's eyes carefully watching her.

"Dinner is going to be very cold." Gail nodded.

"It can wait.


	9. Chapter 9

_**NOTE: Thank you so much for your responses. You all are so awesome. I'm sorry this has taken so long to update. It was a bit of a struggle for me. This chapter changes rating from T to M. This is my first real try at a love scene. I hope you guys enjoy. Tell me what you think.**_

* * *

><p>Holly felt a soft nip at her side and smiled. Her eyelids blocked out the harshness of the sun peaking through her window. She knew it was early, but did not want to leave the warmth or the memories of last night in bed. She felt a second nip at her side, this one inches higher than the last. She kept her eyes closed. The darkness enhanced the sensations sliding through her.<p>

"Someone's in a playful mood."

Holly's husky voice trapped the giggle that threatened to come out. She received another nip as an answer. The smiling doctor turned her head to greet star-bright blue eyes gazing down at her. Her Gail, with tussled blonde pixie hair and a body wrapped in a soft blue sheet, grinned as wide as the Cheshire cat. It was a beautiful sight that Holly welcomed openly first thing this morning.

"I have a few hours to play around with before I have to be at the station." Gail responded.

Her fingers slowly brushed a path along the dip of smooth skin on Holly's back. Holly bit her lip, taking in each new tingle. Gail leaned down and pressed her lips against the hidden spot behind Holly's ear.

"What do you say, doctor? Care to amuse me?"

Gail's honeyed whisper cause Holly's insides to warm. Before she could breathe a word, the blonde latched her lips onto Holly's earlobe and drew it into her mouth. Holly groaned. Her body rocked on her side, threatening to fall over.

Gail's name fell from her lips in a hushed tone, but the officer ignored it. She was busy caressing the small of Holly's back with her thumb. She drew little shapes that left the woman beside her breathless. It was a full on assault to Holly's senses. Gail's mouth attacked the side of Holly's neck. Her lips glided over its tight skin, while her teeth and tongue tasted each patch they tickled.

Gail's free hand kept her upright and steady at Holly's teeth holding the doctor's lips begin to grind. It was too early for her to be this consumed by desire. She had not even had her morning cup of coffee. Still, she shivered as she felt Gail's breath heat the bottom corner of her neck. Her core was already preparing for the morning's activities.

Holly inhaled sharply. She was not focused. The fervor Gail created was sweeping her away. The blonde's free hand moved from the bed to Holly. Her palm caressed over the brunette's toned stomach as it worked its way upward. It stopped just below Holly's right breast, giving her fingers charge. They wasted little time. They cupped her breast, stroking around the nipple, before pitching it and rolling it between her finger and thumb.

The breath Holly had been holding escaped along with a faint groan. She grabbed Gail's cheek directing the officer's lips to hers. They connected in a force of searing energy. Kissing Gail was an activity Holly could do for a lifetime. When their lips met she felt as if the universe froze for them, laying all of the time and energy it controlled at their feet.

Holly leaned back, her body searching to connect with Gail. But Gail's hand pressed firmly at her back. It guided her onto her stomach.

"Do you know how much I love touching you, Holly?"

Holly did not know if Gail wanted a response. She hoped not, because the doctor could not form words. Because, at that moment, Gail's left hand was leaving her breast and working its way down Holly's stomach.

It pressed upward, signaling for Holly to rest on her knees. She obeyed, moving with the mattress to find a comfortable position. Gail kissed her back as a thank you.

Holly felt Gail everywhere. The blonde hovered over her. Her slim leg slid in between Holly's, gradually opening them. Her hip nudged Holly's backside.

"I did not expect to love touching you so much." The younger woman leaned into Holly's ear. She sighed, and Holly could hear her smile. "I expected us to be good."

Her left hand slid between Holly's leg. She felt Gail hunch over her to give herself better reach. With it, she stroked Holly's inner thigh. Her fingers pulsated against its firmness.

"I could tell we were going to burn with each other."

Holly thought burning was too simple a word for what she was feeling at the moment. She felt as if she might soon combust. Gail's right hand held Holly's hip while her thumb pressed into the small of her back. The pressure caused the brunette to whimper. She had never thought of that as one of her spots, but Gail continued to surprise her.

Holly did not take the moment to ponder the discovery. Her mind quickly lost its ability to think as Gail's left hand landed just above the flushed area of Holly's passion.

"I just never though I'd love the feel of you." Gail breathed, the heat causing the hairs on Holly's neck to stand. Gail's left hand dipped. Two fingers trailed inside her nether lips. Holly knew Gail's fingers were coated with her juices. The knowledge fed the fire already consuming her.

"You are hot, Holly." Gail groaned in awe. "So hot. So silky. So wet." Gail's fingers moved back above the area now sensitive to any shift.

"Is that for me? Gail whispered as Holly tightened. "Do you like me touching you, Holly?"

Holly shuddered. Her response was just a jumble of sounds.

"Oh, you can do better than that, doc." Gail tsked. Her fingers drummed above the aching spot. The movement sent shocks to her core. Holly jerked at the intense reaction.

"Holly, tell me." Gail paused letting the sensations overwhelm the woman under her. "Do you want me to touch you?" She rubbed her head against Holly's ear, much like a cat caressing her owner's leg. But it was Holly who purred.

"Yes." Holly hissed out the three letter word as loudly as she could. It came out faint and barely discernible. She tried again. "Oh yes, Gail."

Holly felt the bed shift as Gail moved. The officer kissed her back again, pressing a smile into her skin. The fingers between Holly's thighs swept downward and pressed into her small ball of nerves. Holly shot up with a loud gasp. Her back bent so far she feared it would break. Gail rested her forehead on it and kept up the pressure. Her hand rocked as her fingers pressed circles into the targeted spot.

Holly whimpered with each new movement. The pace increased, and her whimpers became louder. She did not care if anyone outside her home could hear her. She rocked with Gail's hand, keeping up with her tempo. She could feel the wave of ecstasy heading towards her. Her body moved faster as the wave pushed forward.

She felt Gail lips on her back and heard her muffled groan. She knew Gail enjoyed giving her pleasure. And she was not one to sit still? Her teeth left small bite marks into Holly. Her tongue licked them soothingly.

"Oh, Gail." Holly shook as she pushed toward her climax.

"I'm with you, baby." Gail whispered her encouragements.

Holly's hands dug into the sheets as she clutched the mattress underneath. Gail's fingers picked up paced. As Holly concentrated on their movements, she felt two fingers slide inside her from behind. She yelped pushing into the new welcomed invasion.

"Oh my God!"

Gail moved in a fever. Her hips rocked into Holly's backside as her fingers thrusted deeper into her girlfriend. She curled them, stroking a small rough patch. Holly buckled.

"Gail!" She screamed as the wave finally hit her.

Her eyes squeezed closed. Her body jerked uncontrollably. She fell to the bed in a soft thud, and waited for her body to stop moving on its accord. Her climaxes had intensified since her first time with Gail. She did not know why, but she gave credit to the woman beside her and their ever growing chemistry.

Gail's fingers still moved in her, but at a slower pace. Holly buried her face in her pillow. The soft cloth muffled her harsh breathing. Gail petted her back, much like one would do after a fit of tears not euphoric completion. But it felt good, comforting.

Holly did not know how long she laid there before her body relaxed and her breathing returned to normal. She did hear the ringing of the alarm clock on her bed-stand. Gail hit the button for her, before she leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Playtime's over." Gail pressed against Holly's back in a quick hug. Holly pulled Gail in another blazing kiss. They broke off, and Gail slid out of bed. Holly smiled lazily. She could not move and did not want to right now. She looked at the wall she was facing and smiled. Good morning.

* * *

><p>That beautiful morning was on Holly's mind as she looked out her car's window into the night sky. She tried to hold back the tears threatening to escape her eyes. How can a morning that started so brilliantly end in such pain?<p>

"Holly, are you going to ever talk to us again?"

Holly heard the whispered question. She just did not want to answer it. Not now when all of her texts to Gail so far had gone unanswered, and her phone calls were going straight to voicemail. She did not want to assuage her friends' guilt.

She wanted to talk to Gail. She wanted to see Gail. She wanted… Holly shook away the thoughts. They were not happening tonight. Still, she did not want to sit in her car, being driven by her friends, and make them feel better.

If only she did not care, Holly sighed. Her eyes fell on the rearview mirror and on the friend in question now frowning at her in pain.

"No." Holly answered firmly, looking away.

"Oh come on, Hol." Lisa pleaded from the back seat.

"You guys wanted to meet her." Holly growled. "You pushed for this meeting. Then you pushed her away."

"She didn't mean to." Rachel sided with Lisa. Holly rolled her eyes. She hated when her friends ganged up on her. They had known each other an equal amount of time. It was not fair.

"What did she mean to do then Rachel?" Holly snapped. "What was her plan besides telling me my girlfriend's not good enough, then making her feel like shit."

"I didn't know she was behind us." Lisa bit back. "The last time I talked to you about Gail you were still friend-zoning her. Next thing I know she looks at you like she has U-haul on speed dial."

"Why is that your problem, Lisa?"

"Because it's a set up for pain, sweetie." Holly rolled her eyes. Lisa always wanted to give advice. Tonight, though, Holly was not in the mood to hear it.

"I know you don't want to hear me," Lisa said, speaking Holly's thoughts out-loud. "But when I told you to stop friend-zoning her, I didn't think you were going to marry her."

"No one is thinking marriage." Holly squirmed in her seat, the car suddenly very confining. Lisa huffed.

"You may not have been. She was in it deep, while you are still working it out in your head." Holly shook in anger. She wanted so bad to walk away, to not be trapped in the small space with them.

"You don't know anything, Lisa. It's not her that's sinking. If she is in so deep, why isn't she returning my calls?"

"Don't blame me." Lisa frowned. "Maybe she realized you were just having fun. You said that. Not me."

The truth hit Holly like a ton of bricks to the chest. It made Holly want to hit Lisa just as hard. She had said that to Lisa to get her off her back. And she knew her so-called friend knew that. Hard brown eyes fell on the doctor in the back seat.

"Get out," Holly ordered. Rachel's head snapped towards Holly in surprise.

"Uhh… Holly…" She muttered cautiously. Lisa was not as bright.

"What?!"

Holly unbuckled her seatbelt, tossing it to the side.

"Lisa, get out of my fucking car!"

She flung her passenger side door opened in a fit. The vehicle swerved to the side of the road as both women yelled at Holly to close the door. Rachel hit the breaks and stared as her friend jumped out.

She passed Lisa a look of concern for Holly's mental state, before Lisa stepped out of the car. She was quickly followed by Rachel. They both stood silently against the car, while Holly paced along the side of the road.

"Holly, what are you doing?" Lisa yelled.

"I am not spending another minute with you." Holly turned on her friend. Anger darkened her eyes and quickened her steps. "Not one minute. Not even in the car."

Rachel took a step forward, wary of Holly's highly strained emotions.

"Sweetie…"

"Don't. Don't sweetie me." Holly screamed. "I can't believe you. You wanted to meet her."

"I did." Lisa admitted. She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's been five hours." Holly froze, her back to her friend. Her head hung down. "I know her. Five hours is not good. She won't talk to me."

Rachel bit her top lip. Lisa looked away, her eyes becoming misty at her friend's broken voice.

"She is probably just—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Holly interrupted. She shook her head. "I don't—" A sob escaped her. She quickly got it under control. "I don't want to talk."

Holly slowly turned and looked at her friends. Her face shone with the tears already shed. New tears made their way down her cheeks. A look of devastation poured just as earnestly as the tears out her eyes. Her friends rushed to her side. They got to her as Holly broke down in their arms. They held onto her on the side of the quiet road and whispered only one thing.

"Holly, it will be okay."


	10. Chapter 10

Holly sat on her couch, drinking wine and watching television. Well, the tv set was on. But it was muted. Holly used it to illuminate the otherwise dark living room. She had no idea what program was on air. The television served one purpose tonight. She could not be called out for sitting in the dark, moping over her ex if there was light in the room. The tv offered that light.

She should be having a romantic dinner with her new girlfriend, Holly reminded herself. She had been dressed for an evening out when she left work tonight. Her girlfriend planned to take her out, and she had actually suggested a vegan restaurant. Imagine that!

Holly could have went to a vegan restaurant, where she and her new girlfriend would have ordered from the menu without a fuss. Maybe afterwards they would have went to the batting cages and hit a few home runs. Then they could have driven to a Taco Bell and burned it down. Holly groaned. That should have been her wonderful evening. That would have been her wonderful evening if Gail Peck had not reappeared in her life today. Nearly a month of silence and she suddenly dropped by the lab this afternoon. Holly's lab. Her sanctuary at work.

Holly had been standing outside the door of the lab as Gail tried to get her coworker to keep her away from the case. She had seen the blonde walking through the building. And even though it made her feel like an idiot, she had followed her, hiding behind corners to go unseen.

Rodney had not experienced enough with handling deteriorating skin and muscle to even try and get a fingerprint from the severed thumb. He knew he would damage the evidence and incur Holly's wrath if he tried. He made the right move going to her, despite Gail's attempt to persuade him differently.

Gail's lack of interest in seeing her had hurt. She expected the continued avoidance, but it did not remove its sting. That hurt had quickly turned into anger in Holly. First, she avoided even looking at Gail. She then willed herself not to listen to Gail, even when the cop changed tactics and tried to talk to her. Holly reminded herself of the pain Gail's avoidance caused her. Only a fool would risk another bout of such intense suffering on oneself. Holly was no fool.

She heard her phone ring from the kitchen and told herself to ignore it. She already knew who was on the other line, thanks to the ringtone. She did not need to answer it. The caller would understand. She was busy after all. She was sitting in a non-dark… perhaps dim was a better word… Yes. Holly was sitting in a dim room, busy replaying today's unexpected confrontation with her ex.

That did not sound pitiful, she sighed quietly. Holly was not good at lying to herself. The somber doctor stood and went to retrieve her phone. She answered it before it went to voicemail.

"Fuck her." Rachel rang through vehemently. Holly cringed from the ferociousness she heard behind the words.

"What did Lisa do this time?"

"I'm not talking about Lisa."

"Fuck who then? And are you making a suggestion or giving an artful dismissal?" Holly asked as she reclaimed her seat on the couch. She put the cellphone on speaker, then placed it on the armrest she was now resting her side against.

"You know who we are talking about." Holly could imagine Rachel's eye roll through the phone. "Did you really think you could keep this highly unorthodox reaction to your breakup a secret? You are not leaving Toronto, Holly."

"I don't know what you are talking about, Rachel." Holly muttered. Holly grimaced. Of course her friends had found out. She wondered how far had the information spread. She was only in the beginning stages of her search after all.

The forensic pathologist reminded herself to stay calm. She had already prepared her speech for this moment. It had been in her head since the drive home.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to challenge myself, Rachel. I have always wanted to see the world, to experience—"

"Cut the bullshit, Holly." Rachel ordered firmly. "You want to run away from home because Gail Peck hurt your feelings."

"Don't you dare try to make me sound infantile, Rachel!" Holly huffed. "And she ran first."

"So you start putting out feelers?!" Rachel nearly yelled back. "Did you not think we would find out? We work in the same medical circles, Holly."

It was rare that her friend got this upset at her. It immediately made Holly feel guilty. Still, she said nothing. What could she say? Her friends did not understand. She already knew what their reactions would be. Move on. Avoid that division. It would get easier. They did not know what it was like working with the daily possibility of seeing someone who presence alone could leave you feeling damaged. She could not stay in Toronto working where the Pecks reigned supreme.

"Isn't chewing me out Lisa's thing?"

"Lisa knows she's still in the doghouse. I've been tasked with the job." Holly felt her eyes water. She really did not need this.

"I saw her today." Holly barely got the words out. She grabbed her wine glass and took a sip to clear her throat.

"Holly, seriously?" Rachel expelled harshly.

"She was yelling at some kid who was tagging along with her." Holly smiled solemnly at the thought. A teenager following behind Gail must have been hell for her. She could imagine the texts she would have received from the grumpy woman had they been together.

"It would have been pretty funny if seeing her had not hurt so royally." She whispered.

"Let me guess. No closure?" Holly let Rachel's quiet question drift between them before she found the will to answer. When she did she was surprised by the anger that swept over her.

"At first, she did not even want to see me, Rachel. At all. Then all she wanted to do was see me. She asked me out." The incredibility of the situation still infruiated a Holly. First the aggravating blonde had not wanted to speak to her. Then she pleaded for a chance to explain herself.

The officer's rare show of vulnerability at the station, of all places, nearly floored Holly. Gail's words caused in Holly a hopeful energy that seemed to burst in all of the core spots. Holly had never struggled so hard to maintain a leveled head as she had when Gail Peck revealed her heart to her.

That was the Gail Peck that Gail Peck hid from others, the one she rarely even showed to Holly. That Gail was one so self-aware but also so insecure in how to approach or process her own feelings for fear of pain and disappointment. Still she tried tonight. God love her. She tried.

It amazed Holly how Gail could at times see herself so clearly, then at other times not see herself at all.

"Rachel, she called me the most wonderful person she ever met." Holly breathed, tears forming in her eyes.

"Ugh!" Rachel muttered into the phone. "Does she have to make it so hard to feel disdain for her?"

"Welcome to my world."

It was not the first time Gail had let Holly see adoration in her eyes, hear it in her voice. Funny. Gail thought by pointing out her faults she was making progress. But Holly knew that all Gail really saw was her faults. Her bravado hid her own feelings of inadequacy.

Gail did not see how her bitch often lost bite once you got to know her. How her enormous heart always overcame her immaturity. How her excitement over life out-shined her pessimism. How her care and concern for people usurped her hatred of them.

Gail Peck was like any priceless jewel in this world. The harder they were made the brighter they shined and the more they were supposed to be treasured. And that was all Holly had wanted to do for Gail, treasure her.

"Earth to Holly." Rachel called out, bringing Holly out of her thoughts. "What's going on that head of yours?"

"Sadly too much and too little." Holly wiped her face wearily and noticed the wetness clinging to her fingers. When had she started to cry? Before she could answer her own question, she heard her phone vibrate against the couch.

"So you are really thinking about leaving, Holly?" Rachel asked in a quiet voice. Holly could tell she did not want to hear the answer. The doctor paused as she looked at the text message floating at the top of her phone's screen.

**_Is she pretty?_**

The three small words stunned her. Really, it was their author. Gail Peck was texting her, despite how they had left things. Gail Peck was making a move. What did the move mean? Holly did not understand.

"Holly are you still there?" Rachel's voice rang through as the phone shook with a new message.

**_Your someone. Is she pretty?_**

Holly sighed as she began to type, wondering why Gail even cared about her current girlfriend.

"Yes, Rachel. I'm still here."

**_She's beautiful, Gail. Absolutely beautiful._**

"Are you still thinking of leaving?" Rachel pushed. Holly stalled at the question. The moment was broken by Gail's next text.

**_So are you._**

Holly groaned inwardly as she pushed the phone away from her.

"She is everywhere, Rachel." The phone shook as if emphasizing the point.

"Can't you just transfer to another morgue?"

Holly told herself not to look at her phone. Who was she kidding?

**_Is she smart?_**

"I can't do my job with her here." Holly slowly breathe out. Her fingers moved despite her desire to ignore the message.

**_She is brilliant._**

"Honey, is it really this bad?"

The phone shook. Holly looked down. More tears fell.

**_So are you._**

"You have no idea, Rachel. I'm good at being friends with exes. You've seen my Christmas card collection. But Gail…" She paused as the phone moved in her hand.

**_Is she loved?_**

Holly shook her head, demanding herself not to answer.

"She is killing me." Holly sighed painfully. The phone once again vibrated. Another set of tears fell as she looked down.

**_Is she loved, Holly?_**

Holly typed bitterly.

**_Stop it Gail._**

"Avoid her." Rachel said earnestly. She heard the tears in her friend's voice. She just wanted to make them go away. "She was able to do it with you."

"That sounds so simple." Holly whispered wistfully as she read the newest text.

**_Let me explain. Please Lunchbox._**

"So you want to leave?" Rachel asked, her tone imploring Holly to rethink her plan. Holly looked at the text and steeled herself. She could not remain in an emotional flux. She typed as she spoke.

**_I have to go, Gail._**

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to challenge myself. I have always wanted to—"

"All right already." Rachel bit out, resigned. "If this is what you want…"

Holly leaned back against the couch in relief, even as her phone buzzed. She read Gail's one word answer as Rachel said hers. She could tell neither were happy about it. But still they caved.

"**_Okay_**."


End file.
